Luisa Tender

When an abused woman realizes that she should never accept any form of abuse from anybody, not even from the person she shares her life with, she
discovers that it is a frustrating legal battle. Rachel’s troubles with Gabriel did not end when they separated. Last Christmas Eve, Gabriel wanted to spend some time with his daughter. Rachel relented and had him stay the night. He tried to hold her then, but she refused him, saying they should just remain friends. On their way to her family’s Christmas reuniàn the following day, he was hoping he could hold her hand. She wouldn’t let him.

Frustrated, he then repeatedly hit the back of their daughter with the DVD player he was holding. The little girl fell several times and complained to her mother. Rachel confronted him. She wanted him to go home but before she could say anything, he hit her. His fists landed on her head, his kicks on her body. “1 couldn’t fight back because I was holding our daughter. We were on the escalator on our way up the MRT station. I was afraid she might fall. I felt ashamed and angry because no one came when I called for help.” – Rachel had to call the police herself and file a case against Gabriel. “Somebody needed to teach him a lesson,” she says. But since she sustained only bruises, the only offense he could be charged with was slight physical injury. She wanted to charge him with child abuse but their daughter didn’t have wounds. All she had was the memory of her father hurting her and her mother—painful, yes, but it wouldn’t hold water in court. Today, Rachel says, “I’m already thinking of dropping the charges.”

Clearly, current laws tall short of capturing the intensity of violence against women. This is why some, even when they know their strength, choose to live in fear. When adequate support systems are not in place, this is the only way they see to protect themselves . The good news is that there are others who use their strength to help end abuse. Hopefully, Rachel will someday join them.